apathy.

Funny how a certain motivation to write may either be an extreme feeling of either happiness or sadness--never something in between.

Why are we so motivated by fear?

Fear of rejection.
Fear of heights.
Fear of dying.
Fear of...

Fear of losing you...

When there is fear, we tend to overcome our wants, our needs. Instead we live through our lives being controlled by this... this... FEAR.

Something about this FEAR is making us feel this apathy.

A-P-A-T-H-Y:
As applied to the mind, it is a calmness, indolence, or state of indifference, incapable of being ruffled or roused to active interest or exertion by pleasure, pain, or passion.

In exchange of fear. We have apathy.

Apathy is a known cousin of indifference, insensibility and unconcern.

Once you feel too much of this fear. You may tend to feel a certain inclination towards apathy. Examples of this emotion may be the aftermath of a long silent war or can even be having a sugar rush without you minding it. It can even reach the height of being... numb.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know, i know.. i should've slept hours ago.....

but i just can't bear it.

hindi ko kayang hindi matulog hanggang ganto tayo... nakakagago... buti naman at maayos na ang lahat... alam mo naman na mahal na mahal kita diba?

i'm just glad everything's ok.. ^_^

sugar rush.

How to cope with depression:

STEP 1: Acknowledge the said reason of the depression. Dwell on it. Be angry about it, but never talk about it.

STEP 2: Heighten your pride. The higher your pride, the higher your chances of being depressed. This is good.

STEP 3: Write senseless, meaningless blogs that rant about said depression.

STEP 4: Post one-word status messages on whatever messenger you have available on your computer.

STEP 5: Pretend to busy yourself with fixing your blog's template or with blog hopping.

STEP 6: Eat sweet merengue while doing STEP 5.

STEP 7: Lose self control of eating merengue.

STEP 8: When asked by a friend what your problem is, RANT. Rant to your heart's content. Continue eating merengue.

STEP 9: Realize your mistake. Reiterate on whether to apologize or not. Continue eating merengue.

STEP 10: Finish your last merengue. Suffer from sugar rush.



i miss you. tumawag ka naman. kakainin ba tayo ng pride natin. please. tumawag ka naman.





Enjoy.

taro jelly...

ANGER.
Gets the better(or the worse) of us all. Even when you just came from an unforgettable trip to her room.

MISCOMMUNICATION.
Was it? Maybe.

POMELO.
An object to put all of what the first statement means. You just didn't understand.

McDONALD'S COKE FLOAT.
I wanted one. You didn't.

APOLOGIZE.
Should I?

PRIDE.
Is making this thing bigger.

WHY?
just because.

ASHAMED.
Of who? Of you? Never. Of you about me? Maybe.

HURT.
dammit. so bad.

AGAIN, PRIDE.
is driving me insane.

TEXT.
I always do.

CALL.
You never did.

SLEEP.
I think I should.







Tangna. Alam kong mababaw ako... pero, mali man ang narinig ko, ang dami paring nag trigger sakin na kung ano-ano. Pucha. Feeling ko kinakahiya mo ako. Feeling ko hindi pa ako sapat para sayo. Alam mo ba kung gano kita gusto iparada sa lahat ng tao at ipagmalaki na ka-on kita?? Tangna naman tay... kahit hindi nila tinatanong, ako na ang nagsasabi sa kanila. Bakit ikaw? Ako na gumagawa ng paraan para makilala mo mga kaibigan ko at mga kaibigan mo. Pero parang ikaw pa yung gumagawa ng paraan para hindi ko sila makilala. At parang ikaw pa ang ayaw makakilala sa mga kaibigan ko. Sabihin mo nang mababaw. Pero hindi mo lang kasi alam kung gano kaimportante yun para sakin. Ngayon ko lang lahat nararamdaman ang mga ito. Sayo ko lang ginusto ang lahat ng to. Pero bakit parang wala lang ang lahat para sayo? Palibhasa kasi napagsawaan mo nang gawin ang mga yan sa mga ex mo. Hindi mo ako mapasyal, ma date, ma sundo. Lahat hindi. Tangna naman. Ayaw mo pumunta sa mga lugar na gusto ko dahil ano? Dahil naaalala mo siya kamo. Ikaw na nagsabi nun. Hindi ko talaga makalimutan yun. LAKING SAMPAL SAKIN YUN. Pero hindi na ako kumibo nun diba? Ayoko narin kasi ng away at ayokong sabihin mo nanaman na napaka babaw ko.








I just don't know what to do anymore.