ENDERUN.

The topic has come out. Now i feel bitter about what happened. :|

I was supposed to be a student of a prestigious school--an international school. Scholarship pa sana. (*sigh*)

For those of you who do not know...

"Enderun is a college that offers a full range of bachelor's degree and non-degree courses in the fields of hotel and restaurant management and culinary arts. Enderun's mission is to prepare its students for leadership positions in this dynamic global industry, not only by providing them with unrivalled professional, and management training, but by grounding them in the humanities, social sciences, arts, and practical physical sciences.

Enderun is committed to the highest international standards of academic excellence. --official website"

Ever since I saw them at a school fair, that has been my target. I feel that I deserved every ounce of it if I ever got in that school. But, knowing it is an international school, I told myself that I would go for a scholarship.

So my grades were not excellent, I figured I could pass the interview. Luckily, someone was already contacting me. She was fixing my papers, giving me interviews, she even offered my dad an overview (which he turned down) of everything that could happen if I got in Enderun (but that didn't happen until later that Summer.)

My mind was set. Being a new school, they didn't have entrance tests... yet. All I had to do was write a bunch of essays, and go to loads of interview, which was, of course, great for me. Great because I am, not to gloat, good at impromptu. :)

The time came for my 1st interview. A lady and one of the founders were the people who interviewed me. I had such fun. Nervous, yes, but they welcomed me as if they were already accepting my application for scholarship. So the interview commenced. I can ask whatever question I want to them. They, in turn, ask me theirs. I was not having an interview. I was having a conversation. And I was loving every minute of it.

As I left the conference room, they gave me an opportunity to ask one more question. I asked "How did I do?" They said, "Well, you were animated." That's all that I could remember in the verbatim, but, they said there is a possibility I can pass.

I was so dumbfounded and happy, I forgot how to open the door. I rushed down the building, where my dad was waiting. I was so happy. I realized what a great feeling it was to work for something--to work at a dream--and have it come true. It definitely felt like Christmas.

I anticipated the day that I would receive a call or a letter from Enderun, telling me that I passed the scholarship.

THE DAY CAME. I received both a call and a letter. Now that I think about it. It was my dad who got the letter and opened it. I never knew there was a letter until the intern from Enderun called to ask if I received my letter. :|

There it was. I WAS ACCEPTED. I jumped for joy. I cried. But I only got partial scholarship. 100,000 php per year, in other words, 50,000 php off every semester. I didn't care. I knew we could handle it.

THE DAY CAME once again that my parents told me NO. I arranged meetings with the lady at Enderun, figuring out what I can do to afford it. We considered everything. But still, they said no.

The lady called me one time. She wanted to talk to my dad. He, I think, was rather rude in a discreet way (He was polite, but, there was this line that made it bad *in a semi-angry voice* "Yes, you have successfully sold your product to my daughter.") I was appalled. I apologized to the lady. She told me in a text "It's ok. I understand your dad. Maybe someday."

Everything just went down the drain.

Coincidentally, it was the time that Asian Food Channel (afc) was being aired. As I stared at the TV in my room, watching everything in the channel, I sobbed, scratched that, I wailed, and threw something at the TV. I immediately called Yang. I was so hurt. I told her "Ito lang ang bagay na pinagsisisihan kong pinalampas ko. One of the things that I know, when I get older, I would look at my acceptance letter and just cry myself to sleep."

i lost all hope then. My plans. My dream.

Until now, when I watch the DVD Enderun gave me during the interview, I still cry, or get teary eyed.

Sabi nalang ni Yang "hintayin mo nalang yung time na kaya mo nang pag-aralin ang sarili mo."

I fear that all would be too late by then.